The thumb saga

Zach started sucking his thumb at an early age, and never stopped. As I've probably mentioned before, we were thrilled - he knew how to soothe himself, and used that skill often. As a result, he was a champion sleeper from the time he was 5.5 months old - any time, any place. It really made life easier.

So when people told me all sorts of stories about their sister/nephew/friend's kid/cousin's stepdaughter once-removed, specifically how difficult it was to get the kid to stop sucking his/her thumb, I didn't really worry too much about it. Nor when I read article after article, web discussion after web discussion, about pacifiers versus thumb-sucking. Wasn't concerned (although I do wish I had a dollar for every time I heard or read "you can't take away their thumb, you know".) My kid was sleeping, and sleeping really well. This was good.

So, fast-forward to Zach's first dentist appointment back in April. I already blogged how the dentist didn't hesitate to tell me about the damage the thumb-sucking has done to his palate and the potential orthodontist bills in our future. He encouraged us to get Zach to stop ASAP. Since this conversation took place four days after Charlie was born, taking away Zach's method of soothing himself right then seemed like a bad idea, considering we were making a major change to life as he knew it.

So we worked on simply reducing the situations where he was likely to suck his thumb - the ones not involving sleep. Since thumb-sucking and his cowbungadee seemed to go hand-in-hand (pun intended), we started restricting the little cow's mobility. First he had to stay in the house - goodbye car thumb-sucking! Then he had to stay in Zach's room - goodbye random just woke up thumb-sucking and/or we're reading a book thumb-sucking!

We talked to Zach about all this, explaining the whys behind our actions, and telling him that when he was ready, he should stop entirely. He listened very seriously, and then told us he thought he'd be ready when he was four. :) The fact is, Zach seemed to adapt fairly easily to these changes. We'd see his hand start to migrate towards his mouth, and then quickly return to his lap when he realized what he was about to do. Soon, we never saw Zach suck his thumb anymore, although we knew perfectly well he probably was when in his bed. And then, I confess, I sort of forgot about trying to get him to stop entirely (what can I say, I was focusing on the one who wasn't sleeping so well).

So when we went back to the dentist in October and again were told it was time to quit, we re-committed to eliminating the thumb-sucking. Once again, we talked to Zach about all the reasons it wasn't good for him to suck his thumb, and just asked him to just try. And try he did. And you know what? He succeeded.

We suspect in the middle of the night there may still be unconscious thumb-sucking*, but he no longer falls asleep with his thumb in his mouth. I haven't seen him suck his thumb in two months, even though cowbungadee now has free roam of the house again. It's amazing. I'm really quite impressed with his willpower, honestly.

It has been very interesting for me to reflect on all of this, particularly the whole debate about thumbs vs pacifiers. I find myself back where I was when Zach first started sucking his thumb: staring at the fact that we can discuss what pacification method is better until we're blue in the face, but in reality it's really not up to us. Zach didn't want a pacifier - ever. We didn't encourage him to suck his thumb - he just did it.

This all seems so relevant right now because of Charlie. Charlie has taken a pacifier about 4 times total, but mostly it just ticks him off. And he stuck his thumb in his mouth about the same number of times. The fact is - he doesn't want a pacifier OR his thumb. And you know what? I'd** happily face more orthodontic bills for Charlie too, if he wanted to suck his thumb. Because then we likely wouldn't have had all the sleeping battles we've experienced, and I wouldn't have spent hours listening to my baby cry as he tried to go back to sleep on his own. Instead he'd be sucking his thumb, and yes, shifting his palate little by little. But he'd be sleeping. And trust me, that is worth a lot.

* Soon we are going to put a band-aid on this thumb so that he is more aware if he's sucking his thumb in his semi-sleep.

** I am quite sure I'm speaking only for myself with this statement.